PARABLE OF AMERICA (an allegory about gay marriage)

            Once upon a time, there was a small village in our land; the village was named “America.”  Because the village was so small, there was only one church, America Baptist Church.

            One fine day at choir practice, Steve asked why all the baptisms at ABC were by full immersion.  “Surely some people are too scared of the water to go all the way under,” he said.  The choir members suggested Steve go to the Board of Deacons.

            Unfortunately, the deacons were not pleased with Steve’s question.  They said only deviant people even considered such things.  Baptisms were always by full immersion and that was the way it had always been.  In truth, one of the deacons had been sprinkled as a child in another village, but it was a secret he was determined to take to his grave.

            “I don’t want to be fully immersed, I want to be sprinkled,” declared Steve.  “No one else wants to be sprinkled,” replied the deacons, “so why must you be so difficult?”  Steve started asking the people at ABC and discovered about 10% agreed with his views on baptism and other things, too.

            Steve and his friends decided if they did not fit in with the way things were done at ABC, they would form their own church, to be named America Methodist Church.  There was an old, abandoned community center downtown that had been an eyesore for many years, but Steve and his friends thought with some loving renovation it would make a splendid home for the AMC.

            Steve asked the Town Council if he could buy the community center from the town so that AMC could renovate it and make it their beautiful new sanctuary.  Sadly, though, all of the members of the Town Council were also members of ABC; they declared that Steve did not have the right to submit a bid on the property.

            Steve and his friends were upset they had been denied their opportunity.  Leslie suggested talking to the American Civil Liberties Union, which they did.  With the help of the ACLU, Steve and Leslie and the other prospective members of the AMC sued the Town Council for the right to purchase the property.  Although Steve was no longer alone, he was being called “unpatriotic,” “ungodly,” and many other unkind things.  Some people would no longer talk to him in public and he started receiving hate mail.

            During the trial, people said many things.  The chair of the deacons claimed that it would weaken the institution of baptism at ABC if Methodists were allowed to sprinkle.  Leslie answered that the folks of ABC were quite welcome to continue to practice baptism as they saw fit, but the folks of AMC should be entitled to do it their own way.  The judge listened carefully to what both sides said and eventually ruled that Methodists were entitled to the same rights as every other person in America and that Steve and Leslie and the others had the right to bid on the abandoned community center.

            Elections for Town Council were held not long after the judge issued her ruling.  Steve decided he would run for election on a pro-AMC platform.  However, the Mayor declared he thought that America should have only one church and proposed that the Town Council pass a “Protection of Baptism” act that would designate America as a sprinkling-free zone and turn the old community center into a Sanctity of Baptism Memorial.  Many people who personally agreed with baptism by immersion thought that the Mayor and Town Council were going too far in trying to contradict the judge and restrict the rights of the Methodists.  However, 56% of the people who went to the polls agreed with the Mayor, and to this day, America has only one church.


Tags: , ,

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: